The end of a relationship, whether you’re married or simply living together, is difficult. When you reach the point where you live in the same household as the person you love, your lives intertwine in a manner that isn’t entirely possible when you don’t live together. You share a bed, dishes, and the bathroom towels. The end of your relationship signifies the end of your household, and it means one of you is moving out. You’re dividing your belongings, and someone is responsible for finding a new home.
Moving out after a divorce or breakup is a challenging process. Your entire life is uprooted and changed due to one decision, which you must make sure is the right decision. This is not a situation to enter into without careful thought and consideration. It’s also one you should both try to handle with grace and kindness. Just because you no longer want to share a relationship or a household does not mean you cannot be gracious when one of you is moving out and both of your lives are changing forever.
PREPARING TO MOVE OUT
Moving out after a breakup is difficult, and you must prepare. Do not gather your belongings and run off into the night in the middle of the end. Do yourself a solid favor and prepare to move out using these tips as a guideline.
Prepare in Advance
Is your relationship on the rocks? Are you living with the knowledge that you want to leave because your relationship is over? It’s not all that uncommon, and you must be prepared. If you know you’re ending things, start looking for a new place to live. Gather your important documents such as your social security card and birth certificate, and pack them. If you know in advance, you can prepare. You don’t even have to make it obvious.
Take Time to Yourself
Whether the breakup is your idea or you were blindsided by it, take the time you need to gather your thoughts. Go away for a weekend, or at least move out of your master bedroom and into the guest room for a few days. Take some time to yourself to process the changes in your life before they overwhelm you. If you need this time, discuss it with your recent ex. Tell him or her you understand it’s over and you’re moving out, but you need a few days to process.
Discuss Logistics With Your Ex
Now that you are no longer a couple, you must discuss what happens next. You should try to remain calm and kind, and discuss what you want versus what they want. Come up with a game plan, and work together to make this transition as simple as possible. If you want to know if they will leave for the weekend so you can pack and move without seeing him or her nonstop, simply ask for that kindness. It is still your home, too.
HANDLING THE MOVE OUT PROCESS
Moving out is tough, but you can handle it with grace. By discussing what you will take, leave, and split up in advance, you can both prevent arguments and hurt feelings.
Pack Your Important Belongings
Your computer, documents, and the things you brought into the relationship before you lived together are yours alone. Start packing these items and leave the larger items for later. This allows you time to sort through your thoughts as well as realize what you want from your move.
Take Only What’s Yours
Do not start taking things you have not discussed with your partner. You can prevent a lot of stress and upset if you discuss things in advance. However, you have to stick to your side of the bargain and only take what you discussed you were taking.
Work Together On Important Issues
It’s not just a simple process to pack up and move out when you end a relationship. Most people who live together share things in both names. The lease, the utilities, insurance, cell phone plans, and much more are all things you need to work on together during the moving process. It’s understandable you don’t want to spend another moment with the person you just left, but you need to:
If you own a home together, you have more to work through. You can either sell it or work to remove your name from the mortgage, but that is not always an easy task. If you need to speak to an attorney, do so.
Ask For Help
It’s okay to ask for help when you are moving out after a breakup. Call your mom, your dad, your girlfriends, your guys, whoever you please who can help you get through this. You need help, and it’s all right to ask for this. In fact, you can ask mutual friends of both you and your ex if you want, and that’s one way to make sure things don’t get weird between all of you.
Sell, Donate, Buy Out
If you and your ex are working to divide your belongings, you must work together to figure out what you want to do with things. You can sell them and split the profit. You can donate them if you don’t want them, and you can buy one another out of certain things that you might want. The key is to work together to make this as painless as possible.
COPING AFTER MOVING OUT
Now that you’ve moved out of your shared home, it’s time to learn how to cope with your new life changes. Let these tips serve as a starting point for you during this difficult time.
Try Something New
What’s something you didn’t have time for or that your ex didn’t want to bother with when you were together? Something you always wanted to try but just couldn’t find the time or desire to do while you were together? Try it now. Sign up for the cooking or dance classes you wanted to try. Train for a marathon or a 5k. Do something you wanted to try but just never found the time to do. It’s an exciting way to cope.
If you’ve been looking for a reason to pack up and go somewhere you’ve never been, there is no time like the present. You can go anywhere you want, spend as much time as you want, and learn to take care of yourself. Do what you want to do, and do it on your time.
Take Care Of Yourself
The most important thing you can do with yourself when you are going through the process of moving out and starting a life over on your own is to take care of yourself. Do not forget that you need your strength and your good health. If you need some time to mourn and to eat all the ice cream you can find, do that. Give yourself one or two days to feel sad and mope and then get set a timer. Once that timer goes off, it’s time to take care of yourself.
Get active. Join a gym or take up some type of physical activity for at least 20 to 30 minutes each day. Eat healthy meals to maintain your strength and provide you with the nutrients you need to stay strong. Get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of water, and do not turn to substances to drown your pain. It’s not uncommon for people who are going through a tough time to turn to alcohol for comfort, but you’ll find that exercise and physical activity are much better outlets for your sadness.
Spend Time With People You Love
You may be single now, but you still have friends and family who love you endlessly. Spend time with them. Moving out doesn’t mean you’re leaving everything behind you once had. It simply means you’re leaving behind a person and a place that no longer bring you happiness. Find the people who do, and spend your time with them.
Moving out is hard because it’s change, and change is difficult. However, you will eventually find yourself in a place where looking back allows you to see that this time in your life was meant to improve your life. Try to take on that mindset now, and see what you can do to make change favorable for you right now. You’re moving out, and that means you have a chance to move anywhere you want. You can choose a new place to live that makes you happy.
You can finally realize your dreams, make the changes you’ve been thinking of making, and you can start over. Let this change and this time in your life become a positive, and look for ways you can find your own inner happiness. Moving out and ending a relationship are both changes you probably never expected to make, but you can make the most of them by improving your own life.